


Operation GTL

by GingerItt



Series: Roomies [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Multi, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 02:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerItt/pseuds/GingerItt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Blaine decide that Tina's dry spell needs to come to an end despite Mercedes telling them to leave the poor girl alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation GTL

“Operation GTL is a go!”

“...Gym, tan, laundry?”

“No, dude-- Get Tina Laid!”

Blaine sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sam, Tina doesn’t need to get laid. She just needs us to be a little more conscientious. She’s not asking for much.”

“Whatever, man.” He rips open a bag of chips as he speaks. “Steve, my buddy from work, practically drowned in his own drool when she came in the other week so I arranged for him to come over tonight after we come back from our run for play Final Fantasy.”

“So you are having some creepy guy you work with come over when Tina will either be sweaty from her run or in a towel after a shower?” Blaine bangs his head on the refrigerator, knocking a magnet to the floor. “This is a terrible idea.”

“Do you have a better idea?” Sam hops on the counter and begins shoving potato chips in his mouth. “The girl is more tense now than last year and it’s driving me crazy.”

“If memory serves, she was tense because you stopped making out with her and started dating Brittany inste--” 

Sam smacks him to shut him up and points at Mercedes who sits the kitchen table where she is writing in her notebook. “Dude!”

“I already know, Sam,” she says without looking up.

Sam’s eyes widen in fear and Blaine chuckles. “You do?”

“Of course I knew. I knew when it was going on. She called me up and asked if I had a problem with it.” Sam bangs his head on the cabinet door behind his head.

“And, for the record, yes, I do have a better idea than Creepy Steve.” Blaine pulls a few chips from the bag. “There’s this junior, Eddie, in my play-reading group that took a couple workshops with her last semester. He always asks about how she’s doing.”

“You guys are insane,” Mercedes says with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t do anything. She goes into tech tomorrow and then there’s a four week run of the show. And maybe she is hooking up with someone and she’s just not telling us.”

“Why wouldn’t she tell us if she had someone? We’re awesome and we love her!” Sam hops down from the counter and goes to Mercedes, kissing the top of her head. “We’re like her New York family.”

She sits up and cracks her knuckles. “Exactly. It’s like bringing a boy home to your parents. Except you two knuckleheads are worse because you have no filter.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Blaine argues, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mercedes gives him a look. “Remember when Rachel started dating that Mateo guy?”

“You mean that grad student that followed Santana around like a puppy dog during Thanksgiving?” Sam asks, pushing Blaine away from the fridge and pulling out a juice box. “Yeah, I remember.”

Mercedes glances up at the ceiling and sighs. “Lord give me the strength.”

“That guy was a lech,” Blaine says, stuffing more chips in his mouth.

“That guy spoke only a few words of English. He was following Santana around because she was translating for him,” she tells them as if it were obvious. “And he and Rachel were just hooking up but you two Papa Bears scared him off.”

“Wait, Rachel was boinking a dude that she couldn’t understand?” Sam asks, sucking the box dry with a loud slurp. “Ew.”

Mercedes snorts and flips to a fresh page in her notebook. “Please, white boy. If you and I couldn’t understand each other, we’d still be attracted to each other.”

“You barely understand each other as it is.” Blaine says, getting a juice box out for himself. Sam smacks him upside the head, knocking the juice box to the floor.

“Rude, man!”

“I’m rude? That was the last fruit punch!” He grumbles, getting the paper towels and cleaning up the spilled juice. Mercedes shakes her head at the pair and goes back to her writing. 

Sam and Blaine go through their list of guy friends that they’ve made since arriving in New York but they are unable to agree on anyone. The conversation comes to an end when Tina comes in from her afternoon class, smiling broadly at them, pigtails bouncing along behind her.

“Good day, Teens?” Mercedes asks, suppressing a grin as Tina hangs up her coat and dances into the kitchen.

“Fabulous day, Cedes,” she replies as she hugs Mercedes from behind. Blaine and Sam share a look, both silently daring the other one to ask but they don’t have to. “I don’t have rehearsal tonight, I can actually go on my run with Sam and I was able to sneak into open sing and just have fun. Do you realize how long it’s been since I sang for fun? Weeks, months even. I honestly can’t remember.”

“What’d you sing?” Blaine asks. He had intended to go to open sing but instead had snuck in a make out session with Kurt in a stairwell. He has zero regrets about that and Kurt has the hickey to prove it but he missed Tina and seeing her sing was something he hated to miss.

“‘I Enjoy Being A Girl’.” She sits back in her seat and smiles up at Sam. “Let me go change and we’ll head out okay?”

“Sounds good.”

Sam and Blaine agree to not try to set Tina up with anyone until she show closes before Spring Break. She’s too tired on her nights off to do anything other than catch up on her classwork and veg out in front of the TV. The three of them get used to shoving food in front of her the second she walks in the door from a performance and starting the shower for her. One Saturday after two performances Sam came home from his studio to find her sitting on the steps leading up to their door, fast asleep. He carried her up and Mercedes and Blaine got her into her pajamas and put her to bed. 

It’s at the closing night party where they start talking about it again and Mercedes has to walk away to keep herself from knocking their heads together. A girl can only put up with her boyfriend checking out other boys for so long before she has to walk away.

The party is at a huge house but Mercedes isn’t entirely sure whose huge house. All she knows is that someone from the cast must come from money because a three bedroom in Greenwich Village doesn’t come cheap. She stands on her tip toes, trying to find someone she knows and see Tina, Rachel, Santana, and Kurt gathered around a makeshift bar.

“Baby Girl, you were incredible tonight!” she gushes, kissing Tina’s cheek. “So proud of you.”

“Thank you, hon,” she grins back. “Where are the boys?”

Mercedes groans and rolls her eyes. “Okay, don’t be mad but they’ve decided that you need some action and they’re scoping out cute boys for you.”

Tina’s jaw drops. “They’re what?” 

“Where is my boyfriend? Kurt asks incredulously. “It appears I need to threaten him.”

“Seriously!” Santana adds, clearly disgusted with them. “That’s so gross!”

Rachel shrugs and slips away, martini glass in hand, tossing back a snide, “It’s nothing I haven’t been saying for months.”

They all ignore her as she makes her way to a freakishly tall guy with brown hair. No one can deny that Rachel Berry has type. They also can’t deny that Rachel is obviously still pissed about not getting cast in the musical.

“I’m going to go talk to them,” Kurt says, striding towards where Mercedes had come from but the three girls reach out and pull him back.

Tina laughs, “I appreciate it, Kurt, but I think we can have some fun with them.”

Kurt smirks and asks, “What do you have in mind?”

“Who’s here that really grinds their gears?” Tina thinks aloud, yelling over the music.

“Mateo,” Mercedes suggests. That familiar and terrifying glint sparkles in Santana’s eye. Tina bites her lips and smiles deviously at the idea. The four of them take a few minutes to concoct their plan and soon Santana takes Tina’s hand, disappearing into the crowd in search of Mateo. “This is going to be fun.”

“Who is Mateo again?” Kurt asks. Mercedes loops an arm around his elbow and lead him away from the bar to where she had left Blaine and Sam.

She titters a bit, just imagining how the boys will react. “He was Rachel’s flavor of the month in November. The guy that didn’t speak English and our boyfriends spent all of Thanksgiving scaring the hell out of him.”

“Oh, that guy... ohh, this is going to be fantastic, you little genius.” He kisses her cheek as they near the staircase where Sam and Blaine are still discussing Operation GTL. He slips his arm from Mercedes and wraps himself around Blaine, tilting his head down for a kiss. Sam pulls her close and kisses the top of her head, humming softly in her ear. They chat for a little while until Santana comes slithering up to them, sans Tina.

“Tina’s about to head out and she said that it’s cool if you want to have Kurt over tonight, Blaine. She won’t be back until morning.” She casually sips from her glass and tosses her long hair over her shoulder.

“Wait, what?” Blaine sputters, involuntarily giving Kurt’s waist a squeeze.

“Tina’s hooking up?” Sam asks, his eyes wide.

Santana gives them a dirty look. “Duh. Of course she is. It’s been going on for months.” They both stare at her, shocked. “You mean you didn’t know?”

“No, we had no idea!” Blaine cries, knocking back what’s left in his glass. “Who is it?”

“Oh, just a guy. I think you know him actually,” she looks over her shoulder as Tina and Mateo appear from the throng of people. She’s tucked under his arm and working his fingers up the length of his tie. 

Sam makes a sound that only dogs and children under the age of seven can hear. “That douchebag?”

“No. No, I’m sorry, but no. She’s not allowed.” Blaine moves to break them apart but Kurt hold him back.

“She’s a grown woman, Blaine,” he hisses.

“Grown woman or not, she is not going home with that guy!” Blaine argues.

“Agreed. It’s our duty as her roommates, as her friends, to nip this in the bud. What the--” Sam gasps in shock as Tina pushes Mateo against a wall and pulls him by the tie in for a kiss. “Fuck me... Ow! Shit--Mercedes!” 

They pull apart and Tina grips him by the lapels of his blazer and tugs him for the door, a hungry look in her eye. Mercedes has to give it to her, the girl is selling it.

“Tina, what the hell!?” Sam yells as she turns the doorknob to leave.

“Oh, hey guys!” she says innocently. Mateo runs a hand down the length of her back to her hip. “See you in the morning!”

“HOLD IT!” Sam hollers, storming after them with Blaine close behind. “We’re not letting you do this with--with him!” Tina freezes and turns to face them. The others clamber outside after them, not wanting to miss the show.

“You’re not letting me?” Tina asks, stalking up to the tall blond boy. “You don’t get a say in the matter.”

“Tina, come on, you know what I meant--”

She stares him down, her jaw set. “What did you mean?”

“Just that you can do better than this jerk.”

“I can do better?”

“Yes!” Blaine cries. “Much better!”

“You mean, like Creepy Steve and Eddie?”

“Yes!” they both answer before realizing what they said.

Mateo moves beside Santana who translates what’s been happening. The boys aren’t fans of him and after the crap they gave him about Rachel, the feeling is mutual. 

Tina smiles at her two friends, arms over her chest in a feeble attempt to stay warm. “Look, I appreciate your concern, but did either of you consider that I’m single by choice? That I’ve been focusing on school this year?” Neither of them answer and she honestly doesn’t want one. “Just... stay the hell out of my sex life, got it?”

“Got it.”

“Absolutely.”

“Good.” She kisses both of their cheeks with a luminescent smile and heads back inside, eager to get out of the cold.

“That’s it?” Blaine asks as Kurt offers him his hand.

“Yeah, I’m surprised, Tina,” Sam adds, following behind the rest.

Tina glances over her shoulder gives them a dangerous smirk. “For now.”

“You fucking idiots,” Santana mutters under her breath in Spanish, making Mateo laugh. She gives him a wink before adding in English, “Give ‘em hell, Teens.”

“I will, Auntie Snix. I will.”


End file.
